Monday, December 25, 2006
Merry Christmas.
Hark the herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!
Peace on earth and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled"
Joyful, all ye nations rise
Join the triumph of the skies
With the angelic host proclaim:
"Christ is born in Bethlehem"
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"
Christ by highest heav'n adored
Christ the everlasting Lord!
Late in time behold Him come
Offspring of a Virgin's womb
Veiled in flesh the Godhead see
Hail the incarnate Deity
Pleased as man with man to dwell
Jesus, our Emmanuel
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"
Hail the heav'n-born Prince of Peace!
Hail the Son of Righteousness!
Light and life to all He brings
Ris'n with healing in His wings
Mild He lays His glory by
Born that man no more may die
Born to raise the sons of earth
Born to give them second birth
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"
Friday, December 22, 2006
Her innocence is not necessarily politically correct.
Last week, while at the Sheriff’s Explorer’s Ball, Grace blurts out “Daddy, see that black man, I don’t like him…Why is his face black?”
Embarrassed, shocked and scared that all who overheard would think I am teaching my daughter to be raciest, I hushed her and told her that wasn’t nice and that man, was a very nice police man and our friend.
Later that night on the way home I tried to explain to Gracie that Jesus made people different colors so that we wouldn't all look the same. I figured I corrected her blunt and honest observations. That was until the other night while in the Vons' check out line. Again in a louder than needed voice Gracie blurts out “Daddy, see that black man?” I hushed her and tried to ignore what she had just said. I glanced at the bag boy who was laughing and put my head back down, wanting to get out of there before Gracie said something that would offend someone. She tried to get my attention again but this time I cut her off. “Daddy, see that...” “SHHH!”.
Finally getting out of Vons and back to the car I told her that people don’t like to be called by their color. I told her it is better to say “Daddy look at that man in the red shirt.”
Gracie said ok and appeared to understand. And of course again last night she says to me “Daddy, see that black man…in a yellow shirt.”
Last week, while at the Sheriff’s Explorer’s Ball, Grace blurts out “Daddy, see that black man, I don’t like him…Why is his face black?”
Embarrassed, shocked and scared that all who overheard would think I am teaching my daughter to be raciest, I hushed her and told her that wasn’t nice and that man, was a very nice police man and our friend.
Later that night on the way home I tried to explain to Gracie that Jesus made people different colors so that we wouldn't all look the same. I figured I corrected her blunt and honest observations. That was until the other night while in the Vons' check out line. Again in a louder than needed voice Gracie blurts out “Daddy, see that black man?” I hushed her and tried to ignore what she had just said. I glanced at the bag boy who was laughing and put my head back down, wanting to get out of there before Gracie said something that would offend someone. She tried to get my attention again but this time I cut her off. “Daddy, see that...” “SHHH!”.
Finally getting out of Vons and back to the car I told her that people don’t like to be called by their color. I told her it is better to say “Daddy look at that man in the red shirt.”
Gracie said ok and appeared to understand. And of course again last night she says to me “Daddy, see that black man…in a yellow shirt.”
Sunday, December 17, 2006
I am quite surprised and at a lost of words. I have never received such an award in my life and I am not sure what to say about it. I just want to congratulate all of you who have also received Time’s Person of the Year Award and thank you all for reading my inner thoughts and feelings on this blog page.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Well, only two classes left in the semester. Sorry I haven't been posting anything. I have been pretty cought up in my term paper which I turn in tonight. In case any of you want to read it, here it is:
The Absent Front Porch
As we drive into our neighborhoods, we observe many of the same things though we live in different parts of the city, state and country. Within many of our cookie-cutter track homes in suburbia, we see small front porches on the houses. Within these porches, we see a bench, chairs and a table, or even a porch swing. In most of the porches, you may notice that the seats are unoccupied. Within in the front of my house, on my small porch, I own a cast-iron and wood bench, yet I cannot recall the last time I sat on it. At one time, the front porch was one of the center places of community within our culture; however, community within our post-modern culture is on the demise, as people are retreating to the inside of their homes, behind locked doors for relaxation, entertainment, and safety. People are even finding superficial forms of companionship and community within the comforts of their homes with the assistance of the Internet.
“Nobody thought much about the front porch when most Americans had them and used them. The great American front porch was just there, open and sociable, an unassigned part of the house that belonged to everyone and no one, a place for family and friends to pass time” (Rochlin).
Joseph R. Myers writes in his book The Search to Belong, that there are four spaces of community, “Personal, Intimate, Social and Public.” The front porch at one time was a special space between private space and public space. In today’s society, we still live in private and personal spaces, yet we are withdrawing from the larger part of community, which is found in the public and social spaces. These spaces are just as important as the personal and intimate ones. Without all four spaces within our lives, we can find ourselves greatly unbalanced in our social life and longing for a special sense of connection that is only found in public and social spaces. Each space meets a specific need within our social longings.
Within the intimate space, we find that there is only room for two and no more than three, for such a relationship. The intimate space is where we find ourselves “naked and unashamed” (Myers 66). This space is reserved for our spouses, significant others, and possibly a best friend or close family member. This space is where no labels, masks, or false personas are worn. Relationships in this space require a great deal of time to care for and at times can be physically, mentally, and emotionally draining. Further, our social make-up is much more complex and cannot be satisfied by just fulfilling one of the four spaces.
The other most common space, which actually includes just a few more relationships than the intimate space, is personal space. This space is often time occupied with close friends, family, and co-workers. These types of relationships are of those whom one is comfortable sharing personal information. These people are often times invited into homes. These relationships are also time consuming. Relationships on intimate and personal levels take time, and personal investment.
Robert D. Putnam writes in his book Bowling Alone, that within community there is both “social capital” and “personal capital” (Putnam 20). Within both personal and intimate spaces of community and relationships, there is little social capital. Those relationships of community are based on personal capital which reciprocity “ I’ll do this for you if you do that for me” (Putnam 20). This demonstrates why personal and intimate relationships are time consuming and at times, draining.
Today we find ourselves with two of the four spaces occupied and yet, we sit within our homes, feeling a sense of emptiness and restlessness. This sense of longing for a greater community comes from our need to be accepted and validated from the greater population, which is the community that we may live in, but not necessarily be connected to. This is where we find the two other spaces needed for a balanced social life; social and public space. “ In our time people have a hunger for a significant median space” (Myers 120). Myers explains this is because “the self -help movement fed an individualistic consumer movement. We grew in our awareness of individual needs and wants” (Myers 124). This has propelled us as a society to be extremely self-centered; which subsequently, is causing the demise of the civic duty, and community involvement. Civic duty and community involvement exist mainly in public and social spaces. Further, with the slow death of these two larger community spaces, also dies social capital.
The public space is a place that we spend a great deal of time in; however, we are rarely aware of it and more so, unaware of the significance of this community space. Public spaces in which we find ourselves are places such as sporting events, grocery stores, coffee shops, pubs, and banks. These community spaces are places that we frequent often enough that we become familiar with the employees and other regular visiting people. For example, you may strike up small conversations with the bank teller, bag boy, or bistro. There is familiarity with the people we share the public spaces with. High fives are given to strangers after the home team hits a home run; conversations are struck up between people sitting at a bar and familiar grocery store clerks asks about your day. Walt Whitman poetically illustrates our interaction within the public space. He writes in his poem Song of Myself:
“A call in the midst of the crowd, My own voice, orotund sweeping and final. Come my children, Come my boys and girls, my women, household and intimates, Now the performer launches his nerve, he has pass'd his prelude on the reeds within. Easily written loose-finger'd chords - I feel the thrum of your climax and close. My head slues round on my neck, Music rolls, but not from the organ, Folks are around me, but they are no household of mine.Ever the hard unsunk ground, Ever the eaters and drinkers, ever the upward and downward sun, ever the air and the ceaseless tides, Ever myself and my neighbors, refreshing, wicked, real, Ever the old inexplicable query, ever that thorn'd thumb, that breath of itches and thirsts, Ever the vexer's hoot! hoot! till we find where the sly one hides and bring him forth, Ever love, ever the sobbing liquid of life, Ever the bandage under the chin, ever the trestles of death. Here and there with dimes on the eyes walking, To feed the greed of the belly the brains liberally spooning, Tickets buying, taking, selling, but in to the feast never once going, Many sweating, ploughing, thrashing, and then the chaff for payment receiving, A few idly owning, and they the wheat continually claiming. This is the city and I am one of the citizens, Whatever interests the rest interests me, politics, wars, markets, newspapers, schools, The mayor and councils, banks, tariffs, steamships, factories, stocks, stores, real estate and personal estate (Whitman 42).
Whitman knew the importance of being involved and actively participating in the public and social space of community. Whitman believed that in order to find harmony or a personal cosmos, one must engage in the larger community in a non self-seeking way. Whitman was an advocate for creating social capital. In short, Whitman believed firmly that what you do for the greater community will in return be good for you.
Social spaces share a lot of the same environments as the public spaces; however, there is usually a sense of security wherein one can let down their guard just a bit. Our social spaces are places that we frequent so regularly, that we developed relationships with people. Most commonly, these places are work, the gym, school, and church. Florida sociology professor Ray Oldenburg has defined the public and social space the “third places” in our communities. That is, places that offer a sense of connection with our community outside our normal first places (home) and second places (work). His book, The Great Good Place: Cafes, Coffee Shops, Bookstores, Bars, Hair Salons and Other Hangouts at the Heart of a Community explains why the social and public space is so important. Oldenburg also points out that corporate America and companies such as Starbucks, recognize the desire of society to have “third places” in our communities, wherein people can connect publicly and socially. Companies do this by creating an environment that cultivates community. “Whatever the nominal product or service they offer, also provide a regular resort for people to recognize and be recognized by their fellow citizens, re-establishing, if fleetingly, a sense of belonging to a community” (Kermouch and Veronsky, 1).
What we have here is the need to fill the four spaces (intimate, personal, social and public). We have three places we can go to fill those spaces, they are, home, work/school and a third place. What has complicated the equation is the fact that we as a society have retreated from the third place and that the third place has reinvented itself and has become not only corporate but also superficial. Within this third place, we are suppose to find public and social belonging and connection. However, it has become a place that meets our consumer and individualist needs. A place that once created both social and personal capital has now become a place that only meets personal capital. When we forfeited our front porches, we forfeited our neighbors and in a domino effect we have also forfeited our civic and community involvement in the public and social spaces, hence the social capital has diminished greatly.
“During the first two-thirds of the century Americans took a more and more active role in the Social and Political life of their communities-in churches and union halls, in bowling alleys and clubrooms, around committee tables and card tables and dinner tables. Year by year we gave more generously to charity, we pitched in more often on community projects, and (insofar as we can still find reliable evidence) we behave in an increasingly trustworthy way towards one another. Then, mysteriously and more or less simultaneously, we began to do all those things less often”
(Putnam 183).
Putnam theorizes that the post-modern inventions of telecommunications and Internet as well as the break down of the traditional family unit has in large part caused the withdraw of community spaces. I would add that the influence of the media has made us uncomfortable in our own skin. We have been made to feel that unless we uphold a specific image of ourselves, we would not be accepted by the greater community.
Though a large number of people have abandoned their front porch and have retreated from the public and social realms, we do find people still engaging in community in the form of softball teams, bible studies, and small groups. Jim Long and Elizabeth Loza are both members of a Catholic Singles Group. Their group consists of nine members. Long and Loza both acknowledged that group filled the need for socialization for them and that they enjoyed gathering for coffee on a weekly basis to share their lives with one another. This small group is a perfect example of majority of the groups that are gathering today. This group is based on personal capital. Everyone who attends this group is specifically attending to fulfill their own needs. When asked if this group has given her the opportunity to help another member in the group in a personal and meaning way, Loza said “no”. When asked if their group engaged in any civic duties or if they volunteered in the community as a group, the members of the group appeared confused and said “no”. Obviously, this group was only about them and the purpose of the group was to fill individualistic needs. Though the group was fulfilling the social space, since there was no social capital being created, the group failed to give its members the sense of validation of belonging to the greater community. Instead they have isolated themselves from the greater community.
Though society has forsaken the public and social community space in the form of community and public groups like the PTA, Rotary club, bridge clubs and bowling leagues, we see a huge burst of community on the Internet. Chat rooms, forums, and community websites such as MySpace and Friendster have exploded with popularity. This is because of the strong need for acceptance to the larger part of society in the public and social realms. The problem with these types of communities is two fold. First, the online community is saturated with false identities, and masks, because we have become too afraid to allow people to see us as who we really are. We believe that we are too messy, and that in order to be accepted by others we must look, act, and dress a certain way. Today’s media is engraining in us images of what we should look like in order to be accepted by society. These images are much easer kept up online, where we are able to hide behind our computer screens in the privacy of our home. The second problem with the online communities is that it fails to promote any sort of social capital. Online communities are self-serving and fail to contribute anything to the greater community.
Though online communities have become popular and a large number of people are trying to use the on-line community as their third place to fill their public and social spaces, we are beginning to see that the online community fails to fulfill our need for social and public community. A large number of on-line communities are being created to in attempt to fulfill the built in desire for social and public acceptance that larger communities like Myspace are failing to meet.
“Now that online hangouts like Myspace and Facebook have blown up, a new crop of niche communities is riding the wave. In September, a Microsoft spin-off called Wallop.com launched with VIP approach: only letting in people who have been invited by existing members. Founder Sean Uberoi Kelly says it’s necessary- and evolutionary- alternative to getting lost on the big sites. ‘Wallop was designed for people who wanted something more exclusive and private,’ he says. “It mirrors the social norms of real life”’ (Kushner 36).
Clearly people are still looking for something that isn’t being found in today’s public and social spaces. What people are looking for is exactly what they gave away when they abandoned their front porches. They gave away authentic social and public community, wherein they found validation, acceptance and connection with the great part of community outside the intimate and personal spaces.
Larry Crabb writes in his book Connecting, that everyone needs validation and acceptance from their peers. Without it, we find ourselves, depressed, insecure, and lonely. Crabb also suggests that if we learn to connect with one another, we find that less people would seek professional help, because a large number of people who see counselors are lonely and longing for connection. Tim Parsley, former Lead Pastor of New Hope Church also believes in the importance of community. Parsley explained, as the leader of a church, he knew the intense desire of people wanting to be accepted and validated. Further, Parsley explained while lead pastor he and his leadership team specifically put energy into trying to create a space at church that cultivated authentic personal, social, and public spaces and connections for its members.
We have withdrawn from the public and social spaces of life and have retreated into our homes; therefore, because we are no longer engaging in public and social spaces there is a critical decline of civic duty and community involvement (social capital). People are no longer participating social capital. We as a society have taken the individualistic approach to life and are really only concerned with filling our own needs and wants. However; because, we have a specific social make up, we still have a longing within ourselves to be apart of the larger community. We want belonging, acceptance, and validation and instead of reconnecting with community the old fashion way, we are trying to find it in a hybrid form, the online communities such as Myspace, which is a self-serving space with no social capital to offer. If we want to satisfy the inner longing for belonging to the greater community outside of our homes, we need to reopen our front porches. We need to reconnect with those in our neighborhoods once again. Further, we must rebel against the individualistic views we have adopted and adopt a new slogan, it’s not always about us. We need to take interest in our community in a way that is not self-serving. The validation that we long for doesn’t come from belong to community but rather giving to community, which we long have stopped. If we become an active participant in the public and social spaces within that “third place” we will then have a feeling of importance because of the social capital we have contributed, wherein we will experience the validation we hunger for.
Work Cited
Cook, Scott. “The Study of American Culture Object” The Evolution of the
American Front Porch
Crabb, Larry. Connecting. Word Publishing, Nashville, TN, 1997
Kushnre, David. “Their Space” Rollingstone Issue 1015, 14 Dec. 2006
Khermouch, Gerry and Frank Veronsky. “Third Places.” Brandweek Vol. 36,
Issue 11, 13 Mar. 1995
Long, Jim, Personal Interview. 8 Nov. 2006
Loza, Elizabeth, Personal Interview. 8 Nov. 2006
Myers, Joseph. The Search to Belong, Rethinking Intimacy, Community, and
Small Groups. Emergent YS Books, El Cajon, CA, 2003
Oldenburg, Ray. The Great Good Place: Cafés, Coffee Shops, Bookstores, Bars,
Hair Salons and Other Hangouts at the Heart of a Community. Marlowe &
Company, New York, NY, 1999
Parsley, Tim, Personal Interview. 18 Nov. 2006
Putnam, Robert. Bowling Alone. Touchstone Smith and Schuster, New York, NY,
2001
Whitman, Walt. “Song of Myself.” Leaves of Grass. Norton Critical Edition. Eds.
Scully Bradley and Harold W. Blodgett. New York: WW Norton &
Company, 1965 28-89
The Absent Front Porch
As we drive into our neighborhoods, we observe many of the same things though we live in different parts of the city, state and country. Within many of our cookie-cutter track homes in suburbia, we see small front porches on the houses. Within these porches, we see a bench, chairs and a table, or even a porch swing. In most of the porches, you may notice that the seats are unoccupied. Within in the front of my house, on my small porch, I own a cast-iron and wood bench, yet I cannot recall the last time I sat on it. At one time, the front porch was one of the center places of community within our culture; however, community within our post-modern culture is on the demise, as people are retreating to the inside of their homes, behind locked doors for relaxation, entertainment, and safety. People are even finding superficial forms of companionship and community within the comforts of their homes with the assistance of the Internet.
“Nobody thought much about the front porch when most Americans had them and used them. The great American front porch was just there, open and sociable, an unassigned part of the house that belonged to everyone and no one, a place for family and friends to pass time” (Rochlin).
Joseph R. Myers writes in his book The Search to Belong, that there are four spaces of community, “Personal, Intimate, Social and Public.” The front porch at one time was a special space between private space and public space. In today’s society, we still live in private and personal spaces, yet we are withdrawing from the larger part of community, which is found in the public and social spaces. These spaces are just as important as the personal and intimate ones. Without all four spaces within our lives, we can find ourselves greatly unbalanced in our social life and longing for a special sense of connection that is only found in public and social spaces. Each space meets a specific need within our social longings.
Within the intimate space, we find that there is only room for two and no more than three, for such a relationship. The intimate space is where we find ourselves “naked and unashamed” (Myers 66). This space is reserved for our spouses, significant others, and possibly a best friend or close family member. This space is where no labels, masks, or false personas are worn. Relationships in this space require a great deal of time to care for and at times can be physically, mentally, and emotionally draining. Further, our social make-up is much more complex and cannot be satisfied by just fulfilling one of the four spaces.
The other most common space, which actually includes just a few more relationships than the intimate space, is personal space. This space is often time occupied with close friends, family, and co-workers. These types of relationships are of those whom one is comfortable sharing personal information. These people are often times invited into homes. These relationships are also time consuming. Relationships on intimate and personal levels take time, and personal investment.
Robert D. Putnam writes in his book Bowling Alone, that within community there is both “social capital” and “personal capital” (Putnam 20). Within both personal and intimate spaces of community and relationships, there is little social capital. Those relationships of community are based on personal capital which reciprocity “ I’ll do this for you if you do that for me” (Putnam 20). This demonstrates why personal and intimate relationships are time consuming and at times, draining.
Today we find ourselves with two of the four spaces occupied and yet, we sit within our homes, feeling a sense of emptiness and restlessness. This sense of longing for a greater community comes from our need to be accepted and validated from the greater population, which is the community that we may live in, but not necessarily be connected to. This is where we find the two other spaces needed for a balanced social life; social and public space. “ In our time people have a hunger for a significant median space” (Myers 120). Myers explains this is because “the self -help movement fed an individualistic consumer movement. We grew in our awareness of individual needs and wants” (Myers 124). This has propelled us as a society to be extremely self-centered; which subsequently, is causing the demise of the civic duty, and community involvement. Civic duty and community involvement exist mainly in public and social spaces. Further, with the slow death of these two larger community spaces, also dies social capital.
The public space is a place that we spend a great deal of time in; however, we are rarely aware of it and more so, unaware of the significance of this community space. Public spaces in which we find ourselves are places such as sporting events, grocery stores, coffee shops, pubs, and banks. These community spaces are places that we frequent often enough that we become familiar with the employees and other regular visiting people. For example, you may strike up small conversations with the bank teller, bag boy, or bistro. There is familiarity with the people we share the public spaces with. High fives are given to strangers after the home team hits a home run; conversations are struck up between people sitting at a bar and familiar grocery store clerks asks about your day. Walt Whitman poetically illustrates our interaction within the public space. He writes in his poem Song of Myself:
“A call in the midst of the crowd, My own voice, orotund sweeping and final. Come my children, Come my boys and girls, my women, household and intimates, Now the performer launches his nerve, he has pass'd his prelude on the reeds within. Easily written loose-finger'd chords - I feel the thrum of your climax and close. My head slues round on my neck, Music rolls, but not from the organ, Folks are around me, but they are no household of mine.Ever the hard unsunk ground, Ever the eaters and drinkers, ever the upward and downward sun, ever the air and the ceaseless tides, Ever myself and my neighbors, refreshing, wicked, real, Ever the old inexplicable query, ever that thorn'd thumb, that breath of itches and thirsts, Ever the vexer's hoot! hoot! till we find where the sly one hides and bring him forth, Ever love, ever the sobbing liquid of life, Ever the bandage under the chin, ever the trestles of death. Here and there with dimes on the eyes walking, To feed the greed of the belly the brains liberally spooning, Tickets buying, taking, selling, but in to the feast never once going, Many sweating, ploughing, thrashing, and then the chaff for payment receiving, A few idly owning, and they the wheat continually claiming. This is the city and I am one of the citizens, Whatever interests the rest interests me, politics, wars, markets, newspapers, schools, The mayor and councils, banks, tariffs, steamships, factories, stocks, stores, real estate and personal estate (Whitman 42).
Whitman knew the importance of being involved and actively participating in the public and social space of community. Whitman believed that in order to find harmony or a personal cosmos, one must engage in the larger community in a non self-seeking way. Whitman was an advocate for creating social capital. In short, Whitman believed firmly that what you do for the greater community will in return be good for you.
Social spaces share a lot of the same environments as the public spaces; however, there is usually a sense of security wherein one can let down their guard just a bit. Our social spaces are places that we frequent so regularly, that we developed relationships with people. Most commonly, these places are work, the gym, school, and church. Florida sociology professor Ray Oldenburg has defined the public and social space the “third places” in our communities. That is, places that offer a sense of connection with our community outside our normal first places (home) and second places (work). His book, The Great Good Place: Cafes, Coffee Shops, Bookstores, Bars, Hair Salons and Other Hangouts at the Heart of a Community explains why the social and public space is so important. Oldenburg also points out that corporate America and companies such as Starbucks, recognize the desire of society to have “third places” in our communities, wherein people can connect publicly and socially. Companies do this by creating an environment that cultivates community. “Whatever the nominal product or service they offer, also provide a regular resort for people to recognize and be recognized by their fellow citizens, re-establishing, if fleetingly, a sense of belonging to a community” (Kermouch and Veronsky, 1).
What we have here is the need to fill the four spaces (intimate, personal, social and public). We have three places we can go to fill those spaces, they are, home, work/school and a third place. What has complicated the equation is the fact that we as a society have retreated from the third place and that the third place has reinvented itself and has become not only corporate but also superficial. Within this third place, we are suppose to find public and social belonging and connection. However, it has become a place that meets our consumer and individualist needs. A place that once created both social and personal capital has now become a place that only meets personal capital. When we forfeited our front porches, we forfeited our neighbors and in a domino effect we have also forfeited our civic and community involvement in the public and social spaces, hence the social capital has diminished greatly.
“During the first two-thirds of the century Americans took a more and more active role in the Social and Political life of their communities-in churches and union halls, in bowling alleys and clubrooms, around committee tables and card tables and dinner tables. Year by year we gave more generously to charity, we pitched in more often on community projects, and (insofar as we can still find reliable evidence) we behave in an increasingly trustworthy way towards one another. Then, mysteriously and more or less simultaneously, we began to do all those things less often”
(Putnam 183).
Putnam theorizes that the post-modern inventions of telecommunications and Internet as well as the break down of the traditional family unit has in large part caused the withdraw of community spaces. I would add that the influence of the media has made us uncomfortable in our own skin. We have been made to feel that unless we uphold a specific image of ourselves, we would not be accepted by the greater community.
Though a large number of people have abandoned their front porch and have retreated from the public and social realms, we do find people still engaging in community in the form of softball teams, bible studies, and small groups. Jim Long and Elizabeth Loza are both members of a Catholic Singles Group. Their group consists of nine members. Long and Loza both acknowledged that group filled the need for socialization for them and that they enjoyed gathering for coffee on a weekly basis to share their lives with one another. This small group is a perfect example of majority of the groups that are gathering today. This group is based on personal capital. Everyone who attends this group is specifically attending to fulfill their own needs. When asked if this group has given her the opportunity to help another member in the group in a personal and meaning way, Loza said “no”. When asked if their group engaged in any civic duties or if they volunteered in the community as a group, the members of the group appeared confused and said “no”. Obviously, this group was only about them and the purpose of the group was to fill individualistic needs. Though the group was fulfilling the social space, since there was no social capital being created, the group failed to give its members the sense of validation of belonging to the greater community. Instead they have isolated themselves from the greater community.
Though society has forsaken the public and social community space in the form of community and public groups like the PTA, Rotary club, bridge clubs and bowling leagues, we see a huge burst of community on the Internet. Chat rooms, forums, and community websites such as MySpace and Friendster have exploded with popularity. This is because of the strong need for acceptance to the larger part of society in the public and social realms. The problem with these types of communities is two fold. First, the online community is saturated with false identities, and masks, because we have become too afraid to allow people to see us as who we really are. We believe that we are too messy, and that in order to be accepted by others we must look, act, and dress a certain way. Today’s media is engraining in us images of what we should look like in order to be accepted by society. These images are much easer kept up online, where we are able to hide behind our computer screens in the privacy of our home. The second problem with the online communities is that it fails to promote any sort of social capital. Online communities are self-serving and fail to contribute anything to the greater community.
Though online communities have become popular and a large number of people are trying to use the on-line community as their third place to fill their public and social spaces, we are beginning to see that the online community fails to fulfill our need for social and public community. A large number of on-line communities are being created to in attempt to fulfill the built in desire for social and public acceptance that larger communities like Myspace are failing to meet.
“Now that online hangouts like Myspace and Facebook have blown up, a new crop of niche communities is riding the wave. In September, a Microsoft spin-off called Wallop.com launched with VIP approach: only letting in people who have been invited by existing members. Founder Sean Uberoi Kelly says it’s necessary- and evolutionary- alternative to getting lost on the big sites. ‘Wallop was designed for people who wanted something more exclusive and private,’ he says. “It mirrors the social norms of real life”’ (Kushner 36).
Clearly people are still looking for something that isn’t being found in today’s public and social spaces. What people are looking for is exactly what they gave away when they abandoned their front porches. They gave away authentic social and public community, wherein they found validation, acceptance and connection with the great part of community outside the intimate and personal spaces.
Larry Crabb writes in his book Connecting, that everyone needs validation and acceptance from their peers. Without it, we find ourselves, depressed, insecure, and lonely. Crabb also suggests that if we learn to connect with one another, we find that less people would seek professional help, because a large number of people who see counselors are lonely and longing for connection. Tim Parsley, former Lead Pastor of New Hope Church also believes in the importance of community. Parsley explained, as the leader of a church, he knew the intense desire of people wanting to be accepted and validated. Further, Parsley explained while lead pastor he and his leadership team specifically put energy into trying to create a space at church that cultivated authentic personal, social, and public spaces and connections for its members.
We have withdrawn from the public and social spaces of life and have retreated into our homes; therefore, because we are no longer engaging in public and social spaces there is a critical decline of civic duty and community involvement (social capital). People are no longer participating social capital. We as a society have taken the individualistic approach to life and are really only concerned with filling our own needs and wants. However; because, we have a specific social make up, we still have a longing within ourselves to be apart of the larger community. We want belonging, acceptance, and validation and instead of reconnecting with community the old fashion way, we are trying to find it in a hybrid form, the online communities such as Myspace, which is a self-serving space with no social capital to offer. If we want to satisfy the inner longing for belonging to the greater community outside of our homes, we need to reopen our front porches. We need to reconnect with those in our neighborhoods once again. Further, we must rebel against the individualistic views we have adopted and adopt a new slogan, it’s not always about us. We need to take interest in our community in a way that is not self-serving. The validation that we long for doesn’t come from belong to community but rather giving to community, which we long have stopped. If we become an active participant in the public and social spaces within that “third place” we will then have a feeling of importance because of the social capital we have contributed, wherein we will experience the validation we hunger for.
Work Cited
Cook, Scott. “The Study of American Culture Object” The Evolution of the
American Front Porch
Crabb, Larry. Connecting. Word Publishing, Nashville, TN, 1997
Kushnre, David. “Their Space” Rollingstone Issue 1015, 14 Dec. 2006
Khermouch, Gerry and Frank Veronsky. “Third Places.” Brandweek Vol. 36,
Issue 11, 13 Mar. 1995
Long, Jim, Personal Interview. 8 Nov. 2006
Loza, Elizabeth, Personal Interview. 8 Nov. 2006
Myers, Joseph. The Search to Belong, Rethinking Intimacy, Community, and
Small Groups. Emergent YS Books, El Cajon, CA, 2003
Oldenburg, Ray. The Great Good Place: Cafés, Coffee Shops, Bookstores, Bars,
Hair Salons and Other Hangouts at the Heart of a Community. Marlowe &
Company, New York, NY, 1999
Parsley, Tim, Personal Interview. 18 Nov. 2006
Putnam, Robert. Bowling Alone. Touchstone Smith and Schuster, New York, NY,
2001
Whitman, Walt. “Song of Myself.” Leaves of Grass. Norton Critical Edition. Eds.
Scully Bradley and Harold W. Blodgett. New York: WW Norton &
Company, 1965 28-89
