Spilt Wine

Not sure what I should do with this blog. So much time and effort, pain, joy, musings, idiotic thinking have gone into it. I am hardly the same person…In some ways I am a little embarrassed of myself when I read old postings. Nonetheless, its me…was me, is still me. Maybe I should resurrect it...Maybe I should just start a new one...Maybe do nothing...

New Hope Sermon 12-19-10 Ingredients for reconciliation Bible reading: 2ND Corinthians 5:18-20 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. Last week Pastor and I shared on the first part of reconciliation. We looked at the definition of reconciliation, meaning to “no longer to appose, to co-exist in harmony, to make or show to be compatible, to fix what is broken and heal what is injured”. We looked at the story of the Prodigal son and examined the brokenness and injury that occurred in the relationship between the father and the son, who had demanded his inheritance early. And we read that after the son wished his father dead, and took his inheritance, he fled to a near by country and squandered his wealth on wild living. We also looked at Genesis chapter 3, the fall of man. And we discussed the once perfect relationship between our Father, the Creator, and mankind. We saw this harmonious relationship between man and God. God walks amongst Adam and Eve, and Adam and Eve walk naked and unashamed in the Garden and just like the story of the Prodigal Son, sin is introduced and the relationship is injured, damaged and severely broken. That direct line between man and God was and still is broken because of Sin. We know that God cannot be in a relationship with Sin because of His Holiness. However, the there is a remedy to mend that broken relationship, and that is through our Savior, the Son of God, and the Reason for the Season, Jesus Christ. We saw at the end of the story of the Prodigal Son, that after the son had lost everything, and was starving to death, he humbled himself and returned to his father, hoping for a job as a servant. What we saw in story was the father was ready to forgive the Son, even before the son could speak the first words of his apology. The father kissed him, threw a robe on him, had a ring put on his finger and sandals on his feet, then had a fatten calf slaughter so they could have a feast; for his son was once lost but was now found. He was once dead, but now is alive. We have all sinned against our Heavenly Father. We have all fallen short of the glory of God and WE ALL deserve death; but by His grace only, God provided us a remedy for our severed relationship with Him. He provided us a path to reconciliation. He did it by giving all of us the ULTIMATE Christmas Gift, His Son Jesus Christ. Now there are two ingredients to reconciliation. We briefly touched on them last week. Those two ingredients are FORGIVENESS and REPENTANCE. You cannot have true reconciliation without both components. However, sometimes, just one ingredient is all you get, and we will talk more about that in a little bit. We closed last week’s services with the same scripture reading we opened tonight, which read, All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. We are eternally grateful that God has shown mercy and grace towards us by reconciling us to Him through Christ and the Apostle Paul writes, that since God reconciled us, we are now called to the ministry of reconciliation. I believe that to be a two-fold commission. The first part being that we now are ambassadors Christ, we are called to work as agents of change and help others reconcile to God; otherwise known as evangelism. We do that through building relationships. By living a life that is Spirit filled and that bears fruit. We help other’s reconcile with God by sharing our faith, stories, testimonies and lives. We do so by loving one another. Now there is a second part to the commission of reconciling and that is with others. We are called to reconcile with others within our own personal relationships. The bible calls us to be “Peacemakers”. Jesus is quoted in Matthew 5:9: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God”. However, reconciling or making peace with others is not always easy. But what if it was? What if we could take some sort of pill that resolved all of our inter-personal conflicts? Well, I think we found that pill. Lets take a look at this Video…. RECONCILATION VIDEO Too funny, May cause extra hugging and sloppy kisses or pregnancy…Just like Christmas to bring out all those longstanding grudges, unresolved family conflicts, issues, and hurts…Its so true…And I would add injuries; nothing like Christmas to bring out those unhealed, longstanding injuries. If it were only that easy to take a pill to have harmonious relationships with others…but its not… Since we can’t take a pill, how do you make peace and reconcile with someone who has injured you deeply? Let me ask, who has cut you so deep, its as if the wound will never heal. Who has scarred you so badly it still pains you today? What are we to with those damaged emotions, and hurt feelings? What do we do with that parent who was abusive or absent? What about the best friend who betrayed your trust? The family member who treats you less than… The person who has used you and had taken advantage of you over and over again… The person who stole your trust…The loved one who abandoned you. The one who you loved dearly but has battered your spirit? We have all been cut deeply at one time or another and healing is not something that comes quick and easy. There is no over the counter pill. Lets take a look at a story for a moment. I want to talk about Joseph. You know Joseph, the one with the multicolored tunic or coat. Now Joseph was done wrong, REALLY wrong by his own brothers. They did him dirty…The Story of Joseph is kind of a long one. It starts in Genesis chapter 37 and goes through Chapter 50. For tonight’s purpose, I am just going to hit the highlights. The story takes place when Joseph was about seventeen years old. Joseph was the son of Jacob. And the Bible tells us that Jacob loved Joseph more than all of his sons because Joseph was the son of his old age and he had made Joseph a multicolored coat. The brothers saw that their father loved Joseph more then them and they hated him for it. So much that they could not speak to him on friendly terms. Now Joseph really didn’t do himself any favors when he began to share the dreams God had given to him to his brothers, which were interrupted as brothers bowing down to him and he ruling over them. I could see how that might stir the pot a little…but so far, we see Joseph is in no fault. He cant help that his father has taken a liking to him over his brothers and he cant help that God has given him prophetic dreams. The story goes on, with Joseph one day sent by his father to go check on his brothers in the field. When his brothers see him, they plot to kill him. It was jealousy that was driving them to murder. It was his brother Reuben who swayed the other brothers from killing Joseph suggesting that they throw him into a well instead to avoid any blood on their hands; figuratively and literally. They captured Joseph upon his arrival, striped him of his coat and tossed him into a well. Reuben was the only one of the brothers who was not for the plan of murder and actually was planning to return to the well later to rescue poor Joseph. Now while the brothers were kicking back enjoying their lunch, they saw some Midianite traders. So they pulled Joseph out of the well and sold him into slavery for twenty (20) shekels of silver. A plan that Reuben was not a part of because, later when Reuben return to the well to rescue Joseph, he was gone. This upset Reuben so much he tore his own garments. Meanwhile, the other brother’s made up a story. They took Joseph’s coat and dipped it in goats blood and return to their father, showing him Joseph’s coat, telling him that they had found the coat and suggesting he had been torn apart by wild beasts. We see in the story that Joseph is then sold to a Pharaoh’s officer, the captain of the bodyguard. And it was there, that Joseph earned good favor and became successful that was until he encountered the Captain of the bodyguard’s wife. What happen was that after Joseph was made the overseer of the Pharaoh’s officer’s house, his wife tired to seduce Joseph. And what did Joseph do? He did what we all should do when we encounter sin or become tempted and that is flee. Now the Captain’s wife took it as an insult and made a false accusation of rape against Joseph, in which he was thrown into jail for a period of two years. It was at that time that Joseph starts to interpret the dreams of fellow prisoners and the Pharaoh himself. Joseph interprets the Pharaohs dream, which if you remember is of the seven fat cows, then the seven skinny cows devouring the seven fat cows, telling the Pharaoh that God is reveling seven good years of harvest that are coming followed by seven years of drought and famine. Joseph is then not only freed but his made the ruler of Egypt. In Chapter 41: 39-41 the Pharaoh says to Joseph, “Since God has made all this known to you, there is no one so discerning and wise as you. You shall be in charge of my palace, and all my people are to submit to your orders. Only with respect to the throne will I be greater than you.” So Pharaoh said to Joseph, “I hereby put you in charge of the whole land of Egypt.” Now this is really the part of the story I want to get to. Once the famine set in, people all over the world were starving, but because Egypt had prepared for the famine, they still had bread. People from all over the earth, came to Egypt to buy grain. Now because of the starvation, Jacob, Joseph’s father sent his sons to Egypt to buy grain so that may live and not die. Since Joseph was now the ruler of Egypt, he was the one that sold grain to all the people. So it came about that his brothers came before him; however, they did not recognize him and they bowed before Joseph. Now Joseph appears to test the waters here. He not only disguises his voice so that his brothers would not recognize him, but he tests their motives. Their brother Benjamin was not among them, so Joseph sent them back to Cannon to retrieve their brother to prove they are not spies. Now when the brothers return to Egypt with Benjamin with some reluctance on behalf of their father Jacob, Joseph meets with them in his house. And it is this encounter that stirs all kinds of emotions for Joseph. Chapter 43 verse 30 tells us that “Joseph was deeply moved at the sight of his brother, Joseph hurried out and looked for a place to weep. He went into his private room and wept there.” There’s that unresolved conflict. The pain of an open wound that never healed. It came to the point that Joseph could not longer hide himself from his brothers. Chapter 45 says that “Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, “Have everyone leave my presence!” So there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers. And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him, and Pharaoh’s household heard about it.” We further read that then Joseph kissed all of his brothers and had shown complete forgiveness. He did not count their trespass against them. And he could only do this because they first repented. Remember, there are two ingredients to reconciliation, Repentance and Forgiveness. At first, we might think that Joseph was giving his brothers a hard 
time in order to get revenge for the way they had mistreated him. But 
as we carefully examine the events, he frequently felt 
real pain and he turned aside and wept, suffering with them. Joseph was 
leading his brothers, step by step to repent of their sins. Their trouble stirred their guilty 
consciences and they began to talk about what they had done, they 
confessed to one another the evilness of their deed. Obviously, Joseph is in a position of great power. Joseph already had his brother’s temporally thrown in jail until he could determine their motives. He could of easily left them in jail. He could of denied his brothers the grain they were seeking. He could of revealed himself immediately and said, yo! What’s up? Who’s the sucker now? And have them put to death. All of that would have been justified. Look at the sin the brothers committed. They abandoned and forsaken their own little brother. They were ready to kill him. They had hurt him so deeply, that every time Joseph had dealt with them in Egypt, he wept. But Joseph did not play the “eye for an eye card” …Instead he relinquished his right of to get even. He responded to evil with love. He forgave. And in doing so, he open the door to healing. I was talking to my friend John Greco, who by the way is an author. Quick plug, you can buy his book, The Jesus Sessions, getting beyond the bumper sticker gospel on Amazon or at the Scripture House. Anyhow, he said to me that often times we Christians have this wrong idea of forgiveness, as if we are to become door mates for other people. We think its righteous to set ourselves up to be abused and taken advantage of over and over again because Jesus said “if someone hits you in the check offer him the other.” My friend John is right. You can forgive, but you don’t have to make yourself a victim all over again. You can forgive someone as you pull the knife out of your back but you most certainly don’t have to hand them the knife back. Unfortunately for us, and unlike the story of Joseph, we don’t always get see repentance in our damaged relationships; therefore, they can’t be reconciled. The story of Joseph is a best-case scenario. Just because the person who hurt you, betrayed you, or forsaken you, doesn’t repent, it doesn’t exclude us from our responsibility to forgive. Matthew 18: verses 21 and 22 Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Jesus instructs us in Luke Chapter 6 verse 28, to “Bless those who Curse us, to pray for those who mistreat you”. Isn’t ironic that us, mankind, a creation that God created to be in relationships can do this right? God created us to breath and sleep, and talk and all kinds of other things, and we appear to do those things just fine, but the part about us being created for relationships, we just can’t get right. We are constantly screwing that up. Why? Sin…and sin damages relationships. Remember that quote I read to you guys last week from the old dead guy from the 1600s? Thomas Therhan. He wrote that Love can forbear and Love can forgive but Love cannot reconcile itself to an unlovely object. Therefore, He (God) cannot reconcile Himself to your sin, because sin cannot be altered. However, he can reconcile himself to your person, because that can be restored. When he says that the person can be restored, that is through repentance. I believe that also applies to us within our relationships. I will tell you that I have mother and father issues. My dad was pretty much absent and neglected us most of our lives. He was just a guy that came home to sleep after work and if he was not at work, he was at the golf course. He wasn’t there at my choir concerts, baseball games, swim meets or award assemblies. My mother is an alcoholic. She at times could be verbally abusive and to this day, there are things that she said when she was drunk that still hurt when I think about them. I know that I am not the only one in this Church tonight that has broken relationships. This room is full of people that have pain and scars on their hearts left by others. Inflected by people that we loved. By people we trusted. By people that should of protected us and loved us back. I can share with you that because of my mothers continued drinking I cant reconcile with her and have the type of relationship my heart longs for. I have been hurt many times because of it and the last time I preached I shared with you that I am a recovering alcoholic. Now obviously, it wouldn’t be very healthy for me to open myself up to my mother’s mess and allow that conflict, sin, sickness and engulf my life. For years and years, I was angry at my father and I am still feel hurt today by his lack of involvement in my life. He should have been the one to teach me how to throw a football, not the 7th grade PE teacher. He should have taught me how to throw a baseball, not Greg Burdick. I don’t know if you remember that Greg, but you did, out in the backfield of the Green Akers Middle School. My father should have taught me how to ride a bike, not the neighbor. He should have cheered for me in the stands at swim meets and baseball games because no one else was… Now there is a lot more to my family dynamics, but basically you need to know because of these issues, hurts and sins, I have no real relationship with either of my parents. And this is the part of our scripture reading that conflicted me the most. I initially struggled with the commission of reconciling with others. In my mother’s case, I have tired, but she has chosen the bottle over family time and time again. And what about my father? How do I reconcile what never existed? How do any of us reconcile with others? We know there is no pill to fix it. We know that alcohol, sex, drugs, food, and other vises only numb the hurt for a little bit but actually bring us to a worse state and cause us more damage and pain. What are we to do? First, perhaps we can do what Joseph did and that is look for where God is at work. Joseph recognized Gods hand in his life, regardless of the unfortunate circumstance. He tells his brothers in Chapter 45 verse 5, “don’t be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life.” Take just a second and reflect on where God has had his hand on your life despite the injuries others have inflected. Where has he shown up within the brokenness? Look for His goodness. It wasn’t God that hurt you, that was man. That was sin. But it’s only God who can heal. Second, take it Jesus. Jesus knows first hand what it feels like to be abandoned, forsaken, hurt deeply. He was spit on, laughed at, mocked, flogged, abandoned and crucified. Ask for God to heal you. Ask for discernment. Discernment? Yes Discernment. You need to examine yourself and the conflict and determine if you yourself have any amends to make. You need to find the part that you need to take responsibility for. And if there is an area where you owe an apology, you have to make it. Warning, be careful of pride. Pride is the one thing that will keep a person from seeking forgiveness or granting forgiveness. Also, in part to discernment, you need to re-examine the relationship. This may be something that is really not healthy. Maybe this is an area, like Pastor Patirck talked about a while back where you need to use the discipline of in-difference. May be this is something where you need to release that person. Third, we need to forgive. Forgive regardless. Even if the person does not seek repentance, and continues with their destructive ways, you will never heal without first forgiving. Without forgiveness you can easily be entrapped with the bondage of angst, bitterness, resentment and self-pitty. You don’t want that bondage. He have proclaimed over and over again that Jesus has come to set us free! Free of bondage, free of lingering pain and hurts, free of self-pitty, free of insecurities, free of addictions, and free of burdens and He has done this so that we may live life to the fullest. And fourth, pray for that person and damaged relationship. This is an area I need to improve in. Do you want to know how you have come to forgive someone? You know you have forgiven them if you are praying for them. Praying for restoration. Praying for healing and praying for blessings. Don’t pray that they get hit by a car or slip and break their hip or neck; nothing along those lines, but honest prayers of goodwill and blessings. Let close in prayer. Father God, you know the pain that we sometimes inflect on others just as much as the pain we experience. You know this because you to have felt it. You know our hearts Father God. If there are relationships that we need to heal and make amends for, convict out hearts. May the Holy Spirit lead us in the direction of restoration and reconciliation... And for those wounds we still feel today. We lift to you. We no longer want to carry that hurt. We want to be free of it. Heal us Jesus and help us forgive those who have inflected the pain upon us. May we pray for those who have cursed us and bless those who have mistreated us, but along protecting ourselves from further injury. Give us discernment so that we may not cast our pearls among the swine. Thank you Jesus for all you have done and your hand within our lives. Forgive us of our trespass, as we forgive those who trespass against us. Amen.