Thursday, October 30, 2003
My Still and Quiet Stream
I sit at home at 5:15pm and it is quiet. I have made it this way out of selfishness.
All lights are off except the one in my office where I write this. I have made it this way. Children outside paying, I can hear their yelling and laughing. I have made it this way by leaving my window open. I have made this stillness out of selfishness, because really, I should not be here.
I should maybe be at my friend Jason's going away party. I have known Jason longer then most of the people who will be at the party. I knew Jason when he was married, and I am one of the few who knows who and what Dayspring Looks like. What was once a personal friendship grew into an acquaintance type of relationship, so I stay home. I am thankful of the memories of Jason and I.
Maybe I should be at my friend Brian's party. Brian who has reason to celebrate, I choose to stay home out of selfishness. My wife will be there, but I choose to stay here in my stillness. I am grateful that she accepts that. I hope my friends will.
I long for the fast pace rapids in my stream, but tonight I choose to stay and be quiet and still. Why? I don't know, but I am here and it feels good.
I sit at home at 5:15pm and it is quiet. I have made it this way out of selfishness.
All lights are off except the one in my office where I write this. I have made it this way. Children outside paying, I can hear their yelling and laughing. I have made it this way by leaving my window open. I have made this stillness out of selfishness, because really, I should not be here.
I should maybe be at my friend Jason's going away party. I have known Jason longer then most of the people who will be at the party. I knew Jason when he was married, and I am one of the few who knows who and what Dayspring Looks like. What was once a personal friendship grew into an acquaintance type of relationship, so I stay home. I am thankful of the memories of Jason and I.
Maybe I should be at my friend Brian's party. Brian who has reason to celebrate, I choose to stay home out of selfishness. My wife will be there, but I choose to stay here in my stillness. I am grateful that she accepts that. I hope my friends will.
I long for the fast pace rapids in my stream, but tonight I choose to stay and be quiet and still. Why? I don't know, but I am here and it feels good.
