Saturday, October 18, 2003
This song was written in early 2000.
This song and 2nd Corinthians 12:7-10 helped me get through one of the biggest battles in my life. My depression got so bad and deep, that Audrey (we were dating at the time) told me that if I did not go to Counseling and seek help she was leaving. The Counseling did not help, actually, I was referred to another counselor for medication, thinking I was bi-polar. I am glad to say this depression passed after a long 8 months and without the help of medication.
This depression started around July, and went through to March. I really don't know how I made it through this time. I would lay in bed not wanting t get up. Sleep and wine was the only thing that really made me feel better. I continued to lead a small College Worship service. I would show up, share something out of the bible go home and cry until I fell asleep. On Sundays, I would force myself out of bed thinking that maybe, just maybe, God would speak to me in church and my hurt would go away. After church, I would leave disappointed and angry, because God did nothing for me. I would leave church as fast as I could avoiding any after church conversations. I would go home and get back in bed.
I remember one time, I was in my bed shut down for the day and Audrey came over. She was at the door, but I could not get up to let her in. I just layed there. She actually found her own way in through the garage and then yelled at me for a minute. Then she began to cry and hugged me. I did not want to be hugged so I tried to roll to the other side, but she would not let go. Then I started crying, we both cried. I think that was the start of the healing my heart needed, someone to just hold me. I then started to gain my strength back. That is when I wrote this song
It has been a long road for this 23 year old
I cant explain where I have been
But I know that God has delivered me since then
Its been a long road for this 23 year old
Cant you see the pain I have endured
God will you be faithful and keep Your word
I was once lost, but now I am found
I was once blind, but now I see
Why cant I see what God has done for me
Why cant I see what God has done for me
I STILL HAVE THIS THORN TO MY SIDE
IT KEEPS ME PRAYING ALL THE TIME
I STILL HAVE THIS THORN TO MY SIDE
IT KEEPS ME PRAYING ALL THE TIME
Its been a long road for this 23 year old
I cant explain where I have been
But I know God has delivered me since then
condemnation, humiliation, exhortation,
aggravation, crucification and Salvation
SALVATION CAME THROUGH CRUCIFICATION
SALVATION CAME THROUGH CRUCIFICATION
SALVATION CAME THROUGH CRUCIFICATION
SALVATION CAME THROUGH CRUCIFICATION
BUT, I STILL HAVE THIS THORN TO MY SIDE
IT KEEPS ME PRAYING ALL THE TIME
DEMONS PUSH THEY PULL THEY PRY
IT KEEPS ME PRAYING ALL THE TIME
I STILL HAVE THIS THORN TO MY SIDE
IT KEEPS ME PRAYING ALL THE TIME
SALVATION CAME THROUGH CRUCIFICATION
The happy ending to this story is that I grew spiritually and in love with Audrey. I never prayed so hard in my life. The song still applies, just my age is now 26 and the thorn changes form from time to time.
This song and 2nd Corinthians 12:7-10 helped me get through one of the biggest battles in my life. My depression got so bad and deep, that Audrey (we were dating at the time) told me that if I did not go to Counseling and seek help she was leaving. The Counseling did not help, actually, I was referred to another counselor for medication, thinking I was bi-polar. I am glad to say this depression passed after a long 8 months and without the help of medication.
This depression started around July, and went through to March. I really don't know how I made it through this time. I would lay in bed not wanting t get up. Sleep and wine was the only thing that really made me feel better. I continued to lead a small College Worship service. I would show up, share something out of the bible go home and cry until I fell asleep. On Sundays, I would force myself out of bed thinking that maybe, just maybe, God would speak to me in church and my hurt would go away. After church, I would leave disappointed and angry, because God did nothing for me. I would leave church as fast as I could avoiding any after church conversations. I would go home and get back in bed.
I remember one time, I was in my bed shut down for the day and Audrey came over. She was at the door, but I could not get up to let her in. I just layed there. She actually found her own way in through the garage and then yelled at me for a minute. Then she began to cry and hugged me. I did not want to be hugged so I tried to roll to the other side, but she would not let go. Then I started crying, we both cried. I think that was the start of the healing my heart needed, someone to just hold me. I then started to gain my strength back. That is when I wrote this song
It has been a long road for this 23 year old
I cant explain where I have been
But I know that God has delivered me since then
Its been a long road for this 23 year old
Cant you see the pain I have endured
God will you be faithful and keep Your word
I was once lost, but now I am found
I was once blind, but now I see
Why cant I see what God has done for me
Why cant I see what God has done for me
I STILL HAVE THIS THORN TO MY SIDE
IT KEEPS ME PRAYING ALL THE TIME
I STILL HAVE THIS THORN TO MY SIDE
IT KEEPS ME PRAYING ALL THE TIME
Its been a long road for this 23 year old
I cant explain where I have been
But I know God has delivered me since then
condemnation, humiliation, exhortation,
aggravation, crucification and Salvation
SALVATION CAME THROUGH CRUCIFICATION
SALVATION CAME THROUGH CRUCIFICATION
SALVATION CAME THROUGH CRUCIFICATION
SALVATION CAME THROUGH CRUCIFICATION
BUT, I STILL HAVE THIS THORN TO MY SIDE
IT KEEPS ME PRAYING ALL THE TIME
DEMONS PUSH THEY PULL THEY PRY
IT KEEPS ME PRAYING ALL THE TIME
I STILL HAVE THIS THORN TO MY SIDE
IT KEEPS ME PRAYING ALL THE TIME
SALVATION CAME THROUGH CRUCIFICATION
The happy ending to this story is that I grew spiritually and in love with Audrey. I never prayed so hard in my life. The song still applies, just my age is now 26 and the thorn changes form from time to time.
