Saturday, November 22, 2003
Compelled to Follow
He wakes one morning early in the summer of 1998. Sun light breaking into his room through the tightly closed binds. He gathers his head together and looks at the clock, 9:30 am.
He tries to put his thoughts together recalling the nights events, trying to figure out how he ended up in his own bed. A night of drinking with friends that led them to a party.
The party from last night was one that they were not really invited to. A party that played Mexican music and most of the conversations were in Spanish. A party were someone got angry and pulled out a gun. After everyone was rushed inside where it was safe, he and his friends left when the coast was clear. What happen after that was a blur.
He gets up and walks to the living room of his apartment and finds that someone had slept on the couch."Hmm, my friend must of left already, not awaking me."
He finds his pants on the ground wet. That's odd, he thinks to himself.
He then finds his way to the kitchen where there is a mess of spilt water.
He now plays detective. "I must of spilt water on myself , therefore taking off my pants here."
He gets some more water to re-hydrate himself and sits on the couch.
Is this my life he wonders? Getting up, going to work, and paying bills? A life of drinking to suppresses his desire for adventures, hurts and questions? Is this Life? Is this what it means to be human? He sighs with disappointment, because that has become his purpose. He is just pawn in the system.
Then a thought hits him. I have a gun. A new gun. "Maybe I don't want to be a part of this system. Maybe I could find happiness if I refuse to play a part of the system. what's on the other side he thought. Then he is frozen with fear. Could he actually do it? What would people think of him then?
He makes his coffee and takes his shower, gets dressed and heads out to the door to go to the gym.
As he is driving he begins to think. "why am I so unhappy? I have more then most, and the more I get, I still feel the same."
Should I do it?
Then he sees a sign. It says 10:30 service. He looks at his car clock, its 10:40.
he tells himself, it already started, plus why do I want to go there?
But he is compelled to turn into the parking lot of the church. He parks and thinks. This is stupid, what hell am I here for?
I wonder what people that are my age, who go here are like?
What the hell, fine, lets just check it out he says to himself.
He gets out of his car and walks through the doors and is greeted by people in suits. He is in shorts and a t-shirt. Crap, I am not even dressed right.
As he is being led in to the service, he wants to turn around, but he has someone walking him to an open seat.
He wonders to himself, How do I get out of this now.
He is seated in the second row, with people who are much older and dressed must nicer then him.
After the service, he tries to B-line out the door, but someone recognizes him. He partakes in small talk not wanting to be rude. He is invited to a service that is of people his own age. " Maybe I will go" he replies.
After leaving he thinks Where do I go from here?
To this day he still struggles with that same question. Where do I go from here?
I don't know, but I am compelled to follow
He wakes one morning early in the summer of 1998. Sun light breaking into his room through the tightly closed binds. He gathers his head together and looks at the clock, 9:30 am.
He tries to put his thoughts together recalling the nights events, trying to figure out how he ended up in his own bed. A night of drinking with friends that led them to a party.
The party from last night was one that they were not really invited to. A party that played Mexican music and most of the conversations were in Spanish. A party were someone got angry and pulled out a gun. After everyone was rushed inside where it was safe, he and his friends left when the coast was clear. What happen after that was a blur.
He gets up and walks to the living room of his apartment and finds that someone had slept on the couch."Hmm, my friend must of left already, not awaking me."
He finds his pants on the ground wet. That's odd, he thinks to himself.
He then finds his way to the kitchen where there is a mess of spilt water.
He now plays detective. "I must of spilt water on myself , therefore taking off my pants here."
He gets some more water to re-hydrate himself and sits on the couch.
Is this my life he wonders? Getting up, going to work, and paying bills? A life of drinking to suppresses his desire for adventures, hurts and questions? Is this Life? Is this what it means to be human? He sighs with disappointment, because that has become his purpose. He is just pawn in the system.
Then a thought hits him. I have a gun. A new gun. "Maybe I don't want to be a part of this system. Maybe I could find happiness if I refuse to play a part of the system. what's on the other side he thought. Then he is frozen with fear. Could he actually do it? What would people think of him then?
He makes his coffee and takes his shower, gets dressed and heads out to the door to go to the gym.
As he is driving he begins to think. "why am I so unhappy? I have more then most, and the more I get, I still feel the same."
Should I do it?
Then he sees a sign. It says 10:30 service. He looks at his car clock, its 10:40.
he tells himself, it already started, plus why do I want to go there?
But he is compelled to turn into the parking lot of the church. He parks and thinks. This is stupid, what hell am I here for?
I wonder what people that are my age, who go here are like?
What the hell, fine, lets just check it out he says to himself.
He gets out of his car and walks through the doors and is greeted by people in suits. He is in shorts and a t-shirt. Crap, I am not even dressed right.
As he is being led in to the service, he wants to turn around, but he has someone walking him to an open seat.
He wonders to himself, How do I get out of this now.
He is seated in the second row, with people who are much older and dressed must nicer then him.
After the service, he tries to B-line out the door, but someone recognizes him. He partakes in small talk not wanting to be rude. He is invited to a service that is of people his own age. " Maybe I will go" he replies.
After leaving he thinks Where do I go from here?
To this day he still struggles with that same question. Where do I go from here?
I don't know, but I am compelled to follow
