Spilt Wine

I want to be better than this.
I want to love more.
I want to give more.
I want to listen more.
I want to help more.
But at the same time, I just want to give up.

The question has been posed, if there was no Religion, would Faith still exist?
That has got me thinking and has led me to a new question. Can Religion exist without God and can God exist without Religion? My response to the first question is yes. There are plenty of religious people in the world, of all faiths who have missed the boat completely on God. I have seen this first hand in the Christian Faith and sadly, at different times in my life, I have been one of those people.

Regarding the second question, can God exist without Religion? Most definitely. God did exist prior to creation of man and earth. However, when I started to think about where Religion came from and how it started, I discover that God had introduced Religion to man.

(Let me define what I believe Religion to be so that we all can have an understanding of what I am trying to say here. I see religion as an institutionalized system of practices and structure, wherein faith is practiced and exercise, through worship, teaching and obedience.)

(I also understand that I am writing this post from the stance of which I believe the Christianity Faith and History to be true. I hope that does not muddy up the water and that we can all still look at this from outside the box and pick it apart for better understanding.)

God told Adam and Eve not eat from the Tree of Knowledge and to tend to the animals. That was their structure God had provided for them, wherein, if abided by, they were honoring God. It was God who gave Moses the Ten Commandments. It was Jesus who instructed us to love God with all of your heart and love your neighbor as yourself.

Are these not rules and regulations that God has imposed for us to practice and when we do so, we honor God? I am not even sure where I am going with this now, but I would love to pick at it with you guys. It just seems to me that God started the ball on Religion. I know Religion is bigger than just the Ten Commandments, but they do provide a sense of structure and order and is that not the purpose of Religion?
Anyhow, to answer your question Jason, I believe Faith would still exist if Religion was taken away or eliminated, but take Humans/ mankind away, Faith ceases to exist.

Finding refuge in the Black Magic Tavern on Lombard and Van Ness, in San Francisco. I sit at the bar with my beer; looking out the window, watching trees decorated in dazzling Christmas lights, as they dance in the wind. Rain drops tap dance on the black shinny asphalt, with reflections of red break lights. Looking for meaning in this moment. Actually, longing for meaning, needing meaning, but there is none. There is no fucking meaning in sitting in some strange bar, with strangers, while it rains outside. None at all. Though I have to admit, at this moment, I did take some time to reflect and appreciate my life. A life that I have been fortunate enough to be blessed with friends and love. There is meaning in that.

His face is as hard as asphalt. He has creases that run deep through his face, deep like the canyons of West. Each crease unique, each crease caused by a different circumstance. Each creases a story. A story of heartache, a story of sweat, a story of blood. The blood, the sweat and the heartache were all from a hard lived life. A life spent running from God. Running from life. Running from himself. The constant running had hardened his heart. It had harden his eyes and his face, which had consequently turned his face to asphalt. The coldness of his stare could chill your bones. Behind the coldness of his stare, behind the glaze of a dull fire are vacant eyes. In those vacant eyes you can see his hollow spirit. Just a shell of a sprit now, as fragile as a crystal vase. The sprit was once beautiful, was once filled with beautiful flowers, that have since then withered away. Now the spirit sits on a mantel, empty, collecting dust. His face is as hard as asphalt. His Heart has hard as steel and his spirit as fragile as crystal.

I was having a conversation with myself in my head yesterday while I was driving. Like I usually do, on a regular basis, probably because I should be on some sort of meds. Anyhow, during this conversation with myself I said something along the lines of Yeah, that's a picture of my daughter right there. Then the conversation with myself was halted to a dead stop. There was something that did not sound right with what was just said. The two words, my daughter sounded surreal and foreign. I had to briefly look up from the road and take a look in the rearview mirror to see who this man was who had a daughter. Sure enough, it was me. Weird. Maybe the statement of my daughter was foreign and weird because up to this point Gracie has always been referred to as my or our baby. I guess a new phase of reality has set in. I have a daughter. Scary, Weird, and Great! Who would of thought?