Spilt Wine

My heart aches today

Over the years a wall has been built, oh so high made of rock.
I have become weary of my pain and loneliness.
What if I climbed over the wall to you?
What if I busted through to you?
What if I dug underneath, only to be with you?
If I remain on this side, where the sun rarely shines, I believe I will wither and die.

For Russ

You say your moving away
Far-far away
I am not sure what to think of that
I am just glad that we crossed paths

I stand where I remain
I stand where I remain

I will think of you now and then
I will wonder how you have been
Where did the time go
It use to move so damn slow

I stand where I remain
I stand where I remain

Now that your gone
I am not sure where I belong
I am not sure what to think of that
So why don't you just move back

I stand where I remain
I stand where I remain

A world of pain

As I was ironing my pants this morning, Gracie was sitting on our bed. The morning news was on and for whatever reason, the news caster, who was talking about the thousand feared dead in Indonesia because of the recent earth quake had caught her attention. I watched her for a minute as she stared at the TV and the images of the fallen shacks. I finally said to her, “ get use to it, we live in a world of pain.”

I have been thinking about something I read last week. In this book I am reading, the author talks about a friend of hers, who has a mother who is an alcoholic. She goes on to say how the friend learned to work around her alcoholic mother. Kinda like rats in a cage, where if the button or lever shocks them, they eventually learn to work around the lever, avoiding shock.

Does this in anyway apply to us as humans? Have we learned to work around the injustices, pain, chaos, and destruction of our cage? Have you noticed that we have a tendency of turning pain and death into something romantic with cool poems and songs? Or worse yet, minimize it with stupid cliche' or even more worse, just ignore it completely? I said not to long ago that without darkens there is no light and without no sadness there is no happiness. But is that really true. Do we need the bad to contour the good as a contrast in order to see and enjoy the good? If I have really felt the effects of a true tragedy would I say the same? I think not.

“What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger?” right?

Shame on us for saying such cliche' things……….. Shame on me.

Dont let Terri Schiavo starve to death.

I just want to start out by saying, if I ever end up in the same sort of state of condition as Terri Schaivo, it is my wish/ desire to be allowed to expire. For me, I don’t believe life is worth living in that kind of state. I would wish to expire so that I could provide closure for my wife and family and that they would be free to move on with their lives. However, this is just me.

In the Terri Schiavo case, I am torn in so many ways on whether or not Terri Schaivo should live as her parents wish, or be allowed to expire as her husband wishes.

I question why the husband doesn’t just file for divorce and let her parents care for her? He has already moved on with his life and has a live in girl friend, so what keeps him in involved in this matter? Is there life insurance money that he is entitled to as her husband when she dies? I did read that there was a 1 million dollar settlement for a malpractice suit. Would he be entitled to that when she passes? I am sure if he divorced her, all money he was entitled to would become void. Is this really just about money or is this about being faithful to your wife and ensuring her wishes are being carried out? I would hope it was about carrying out your spouse’s wishes, but I have my doubts.

Are the parents being selfish with their hope for a miracle or that medical science will advance and be able to bring back their daughter? Of what I understand, her parents are people of faith. If you believe in a Heaven, why would you want to keep someone from that and prevent them from finding eternal peace?

Despite all of these questions I have about the case I think and feel that she should be kept alive. Notice I did not say "be allowed to live"? Is she really living? Now, if she were on a form of life support that keeps her heart or lungs working and unplugging the machine would result in almost immediate death, I would likely have a different opinion. However, removing a feeding tub and waiting until she died of dehydration/ thirst is a cruel way of being made to expire. People are arrested for animal cruelty when they starve their pets, and now we see people who wish to do the same to human. It’s sad.

The whole case is sad. It sad that the husband can’t move on. It’s sad that the parents wont let go. It’s sad the government has involved itself in to the private family matters.


Here are two sites if any of you are interested. One is for letting her expire, while the other argues for her life.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1000938/posts

http://www.reason.com/links/links102303.shtml

While driving home from work the other day, I was listening to a praise song that we will be playing in church in a few weeks. As I was singing, a car pulled out in front of me. If you had been in the passenger seat at that moment you would have heard me sing: “Jesus, hear my prayer, Jesus, hear my YOU STUPID SON OF A BIATCH!” My next thought was, not you Jesus, the guy in the car. Which was followed by a conviction and reflection from my memory on what James writes about the evilness of the tongue. Anyhow, it got me thinking, I would be a better Christian if people were just better drivers.

I will have a side of solitude, with a tab of music with my depression please.
(A meal that is always served cold.)