Saturday, October 28, 2006
Why I couldn’t complete my homework
This morning when I woke up, it was my sincerest intention to get off work early to complete my homework assignment. The day started off normal, I got up at 5:15 am, I made coffee and breakfast, did my workout, showered and dressed for work. I gave my good-by kisses to my wife and baby and I was out the front door.
While driving to work, I decided I wanted another cup of coffee, so I stopped at my favorite coffee shop to get a cup of joe. It was inside the coffee shop that today’s events took a turn for the worse. There seated at a table before me was my arch nemesis, Dan Rather. Dan Rather is an evil incarnation of myself. Everything about us is opposite of one another. The only thing we share in common is that we both have news caster names. I drink coffee, he drinks tea, I like blue, he likes red and I am good looking and well, he’s pretty ugly.
I stood there in complete disbelief. I could not take my eyes off of Dan. With some sort of sixth sense, he slowly lifted his head from his cup of tea and turned his head slowly towards my direction. His evil eye met my stern stare and it was at that point I knew there was no escaping this fight. My nemesis carries a bitter stone. After our last battle many years ago, in which he was defeated, he vowed to return with vengeance. Today was the day which he chose.
A few people quickly left the coffee shop knowing a battle was about to take place while others stood as stone and as quite as night. Based on our last meeting I knew this was going to be a long hard battle. I had always hoped deeply in my heart that this day would never arrive. I was disappointed, but determined not to lose and more importantly, to end this rivalry once for all. Dan slowly stood from his table and then slowly walked towards me all along holding his evil stare on me. I took a deep breath and said to him “ Bring it…Bitch!” With lightning quickness he shot out his right hand, as I did mine. A thunderous sound erupted when our hands met one another. Together we recited the battle call of the old, as tradition insists. “1-2-3-4, I declare a thumb war!” With that, the battle had begun. One of the employees went to the phone to call the police, but was stopped by another co-worker, telling her “let them settle this between themselves.” The people that were left in the coffee shop began to cheer as my nemesis and I broke in to a sweat fighting,
At one point, I almost lost the fight, as a bead of sweat rolled into my eye. The sting of the sweat made my eye close, making me partially blind. I felt his thumbing getting the better of mine. That is when I heard the faint voice of my deceased thumb wresting coach. He said to me “ Mike, use the force. Use the force.” My eye reopened and my stare was now of intense determination. I could see that my look of intensity startled Dan. It was then with the swoop of my thumb that I pinned my opponent and won the fight. The crowed went nuts! It truly was a great victory. Dan put his head down and left the coffee shop with his head down. His second defeat crushed his pride and put such a weight around his neck that he was no long able to look up. Instead his humiliation kept him looking to the ground. As you can imagine, the battle left me drained emotionally and physically. Worst yet, the fight left my thumb unusable or the rest of the day. I was unable to grip a pen properly and extensive use of my thumb would cause cramping, which unfortunately, prevented me from writing my homework assignment for today.
This morning when I woke up, it was my sincerest intention to get off work early to complete my homework assignment. The day started off normal, I got up at 5:15 am, I made coffee and breakfast, did my workout, showered and dressed for work. I gave my good-by kisses to my wife and baby and I was out the front door.
While driving to work, I decided I wanted another cup of coffee, so I stopped at my favorite coffee shop to get a cup of joe. It was inside the coffee shop that today’s events took a turn for the worse. There seated at a table before me was my arch nemesis, Dan Rather. Dan Rather is an evil incarnation of myself. Everything about us is opposite of one another. The only thing we share in common is that we both have news caster names. I drink coffee, he drinks tea, I like blue, he likes red and I am good looking and well, he’s pretty ugly.
I stood there in complete disbelief. I could not take my eyes off of Dan. With some sort of sixth sense, he slowly lifted his head from his cup of tea and turned his head slowly towards my direction. His evil eye met my stern stare and it was at that point I knew there was no escaping this fight. My nemesis carries a bitter stone. After our last battle many years ago, in which he was defeated, he vowed to return with vengeance. Today was the day which he chose.
A few people quickly left the coffee shop knowing a battle was about to take place while others stood as stone and as quite as night. Based on our last meeting I knew this was going to be a long hard battle. I had always hoped deeply in my heart that this day would never arrive. I was disappointed, but determined not to lose and more importantly, to end this rivalry once for all. Dan slowly stood from his table and then slowly walked towards me all along holding his evil stare on me. I took a deep breath and said to him “ Bring it…Bitch!” With lightning quickness he shot out his right hand, as I did mine. A thunderous sound erupted when our hands met one another. Together we recited the battle call of the old, as tradition insists. “1-2-3-4, I declare a thumb war!” With that, the battle had begun. One of the employees went to the phone to call the police, but was stopped by another co-worker, telling her “let them settle this between themselves.” The people that were left in the coffee shop began to cheer as my nemesis and I broke in to a sweat fighting,
At one point, I almost lost the fight, as a bead of sweat rolled into my eye. The sting of the sweat made my eye close, making me partially blind. I felt his thumbing getting the better of mine. That is when I heard the faint voice of my deceased thumb wresting coach. He said to me “ Mike, use the force. Use the force.” My eye reopened and my stare was now of intense determination. I could see that my look of intensity startled Dan. It was then with the swoop of my thumb that I pinned my opponent and won the fight. The crowed went nuts! It truly was a great victory. Dan put his head down and left the coffee shop with his head down. His second defeat crushed his pride and put such a weight around his neck that he was no long able to look up. Instead his humiliation kept him looking to the ground. As you can imagine, the battle left me drained emotionally and physically. Worst yet, the fight left my thumb unusable or the rest of the day. I was unable to grip a pen properly and extensive use of my thumb would cause cramping, which unfortunately, prevented me from writing my homework assignment for today.
