Tuesday, July 29, 2008
I feel as if things are getting better for me. I am beginning to feel better and stronger. Last week was a though week, but I got through it and things seem easier. I am beginning to see myself with a whole new set of eyes. Its as if I have awaken from some foggy spell that had kept me in a haze between being half asleep and half awake. Over the last 6 six years I have been just barley enough awake to have an indication or hint that there were some things in my closet that needed to be dealt with and addressed, but asleep enough not not really bother or care. I am waking up and learning to feel emotions again without the comfort and numbness of alcohol.
I have also begun to see how prideful I have become. Pride comes before the fall and I fell. My pride has kept me from getting well and seeking help for years. It has also caused me to live in isolation and secrecy because I didn't want people to see the real me and what I was all about. I heard a cool statement the other night. Someone said "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear." My task now is to get myself ready as a student and I am starting with humility.
I have also begun to see how prideful I have become. Pride comes before the fall and I fell. My pride has kept me from getting well and seeking help for years. It has also caused me to live in isolation and secrecy because I didn't want people to see the real me and what I was all about. I heard a cool statement the other night. Someone said "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear." My task now is to get myself ready as a student and I am starting with humility.
