Spilt Wine

The down side of A.A.

Tonight, I think I had my first real disappointment since I stopped drinking. I have been filling my evenings with ice cream, cakes, deserts, and other sweets, which has taken the place of drinking beer or wine. It has worked really well and often times I look forward to the evenings after dinner for that "something special". Tonight, I had a craving for a nice warm vanilla steamer. I figured not only are they yummy, it probably had less calories than cake, ice cream and candy, which in turn would help me not gain any extra "love" around the waist. It also seemed to be a perfect heavenly treat for a cold November night. So, on my way home tonight I called Audrey and asked if we had milk, and vanilla, which we did. I could smell and taste the steamer all the way home. The disappointment came when I got home and began to prepare my convented drink. When I opened the bottle of vanilla I took a whiff, because Vanilla smells so good. I could smell alcohol in it so I read the bottle, which said 35% alcohol per volume. I was crushed. Really Really disappointed. I thought about making the drink anyways, but in the end, I thought it was best to leave it alone. I am sick enough to start making steamers on a regular basis with enough vanilla to feel an effect of alcohol and I don't want to go there, thus doing anything that would trigger that daily obsession to drink that has been removed from my life. We did have some imitation vanilla, but is sucked and tasted like crap.

So, in the end, it is still better to go a night without a vanilla steamer than a night with alcohol.