Spilt Wine

37 years.
Time moves us whether we remain still and wait or constantly run from it.
I'm sitting right now on the main road in Sausalito, looking out to the bay. On my right lies San Francisco, the city where Jason thrived in life, friendships were born, bonds formed, brotherhoods found and memories will always playfully scamper in my thoughts making me smile. To my left lies Angel Island. Where we let go of Jason's remains but grasped tighter to all those memories that will carry on as pieces inside us all.
It makes me smile to sit here and think of everything. Good, bad, indifferent. It was all a game, all real life, all serious and all an amazing trip that's not over.
I imagine he's sitting on the other side of that water, sipping hot coffee at a table next to Whitman, laughing. Laughing and giddy that he's figured everything all out before we did and he's just waiting til we join him someday, so he can rub it in.
-Thirty Seven Years, by Will Zschau.

Happy Birthday Jason, you are missed madly by the brotherhood of fools.

After a weekend of yard work I find myself very sore. I am not sure if it is because I am getting older or if it is a lack of physical exercise and stretching, probably both. But if you ask Gracie it’s because I am old. Just yesterday as Gracie and I were driving home from Lowes, we passed the house I lived in during my high school years. So I tell Gracie, “Look, see that house? That is the house I use to live in when I was kid and this road we are driving on, I use to walk along this road all the way to school.”

She replies “Oh yeah, you had to walk to school because they didn’t have cars back then, right?”

A.A. quote of the week:
"In case you haven't already figured it out, the game is fixed. God wins".

Gracie asked me a very good question last night. She asked "Daddy, how come people just don't ask Jesus questions and look in the bible to see what He says instead of asking the President?"

Maybe because some people think our president is Jesus?

As I was driving the other day I got a glimpse of something really beautiful that made my heart warm. I saw a young lady sitting on a bus stop bench with what appeared to be her little child, who was no older than 2 months old or so. This lady was not attractive by social standards. She had brown flat hair, thick glasses and old, worn mis-matched sweats on. She didn’t have any make-up on and was mousey looking. She likely had no car and is probably poor. She, herself is not what caught my attention. It was her interaction with her baby. I could see she was was pouring all of her love into her child and the baby was loving it. I could see as she held the child in the air, the baby was absorbing the attention it was receiving; basking in his mother’s love and for that baby, his mother was the most beautiful, perfect, caring women in the world. The baby did not care she didn’t own a car or if she wore make-up and nice, new, trending clothes. The baby just wanted and needed her love, which she was gladly giving. She was his all.

While sitting in the beach this weekend, watching my kids play in the sand and waves, I saw a beautiful analogy between man and God. My children appeared so small and helpless in comparison to the large, vast, deep and powerful Pacific Ocean, yet, they played in the shallow, cold, crisp and refreshing waters with content hearts, all a long, keeping a healthy fear of the Ocean.

I am so so small compared to God and I too have healthy fear of him and his power, but, my heart is always content when I am within his waters of relationship and love.

A.A. quote of the week:
" I have been given the keys to the Kingdom for the exchange of a bottle and a hang-over".