Spilt Wine

I have written about this church’s stupid signs before. Occasionally, this church post signs that just rub me the wrong way. This week sign read, “ What part of though shall not did you not understand? -God”.

I didn’t find it cute or witty. Maybe I am reading too much into it, but to me, it implies that God is a pissed off parent and that we are all about to get it from Him. Also it implies arrogance of those who attend there, as if they follow all of the commandments. If they wanted to be witty, their sign should read, “ Broken a commandment? Join the crowd. 8:30am Sundays.”

I don’t know. Maybe I just have issues with Church signs. I cant help that I want burn them down.

There was a question posed on the Ooze message board last week that asked “What does Jesus Want?” in which I replied: “Of course biblically speaking, like so many others have already said, love your God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. I will tell you though, for whatever reason, I had this notion for years that Jesus wanted me to change. To change into a better person. I have come to realize that He doesn’t want me to change. Rather He wants me to grow”.

During church this morning, the pastor said something that made me think. He was speaking on a different subject, but he said we needed to know Jesus’ authority, which got me thinking that maybe what Jesus wants most of all is for us to know Him. I posted my new thought on the message board, which brought the next post:

“What does that mean to you? Jesus and I aren’t on speaking terms right now and I really miss him. I've been trying to figure out what it really means to know Him?”

I replied by saying: Wow… I felt smart when I came up with that conclusion, but now I feel dumb not being able to explain what it means…

I am not sure anyone could ever really know Jesus completely. I am not sure we really know our spouses, best friends and ourselves completely.

I don’t know if it is sin that makes it that way, or our feeble minds; probably both. I do know God is elusive and that’s what keeps up pursuing Him. If He weren’t, I would think most of us would stop pursuing.

There is beauty in the mystery and chase of God.

I am sorry that you feel you haven’t been on speaking terms with Jesus. I get like that. I call those times my winter months because my faith feels dormant. But just like a tree with strong roots, it always springs back to life in the spring ready to bear fruits.

Actually, it is a necessary cycle for the tree, maybe for faith too...

Jacob Allen Wallace, born at 7:51a.m., weighing in at 6lbs 4oz, messuring 19 inches long.

It is twelve a.m., October 10, 2007 and Jacob Allen Wallace is scheduled to be taken out of my wife’s uterus in approximately seven and half hours. Anxiety is high in the house tonight due to the anticipation of his arrival and the dread having to be prepped for surgery and what Audrey is most nervous about; the epidural. I am looking forward to the whole "baby routine" thing again, though I feel I have forgoten how to do it. Gracie grew up so fast and those skills you acquire with a newborn seem to disappear over time as they grow older. Hopefully it is like riding a bike, we may be a little shaky for a day or so.

Funny how we are created though…Women actually… Audrey has not really enjoyed this pregnancy and has stated almost on a daily basis that she couldn’t wait till it was over. Then tonight, out of the blue she told me she was sad because this was the last time she would be pregnant. She said she wouldn’t be sad if I told her that we could have one more child. I told her she was out of her mind and that was the hormones talking. Plus, I wasn’t sure our marriage would survive another pregnancy. Man, I am kind of stressing over having two kids, which is two mouths to feed and two little lives to be responsible and she is talking about having three?!?!

You are probably wondering what am I doing up so late the night before the delivery day, which for us starts at 4:30am as we have to be at the hospital at 5:30am. Well, I found this channel on cable t.v. tonight called MOJO. I had never heard of it before, but I think it may be my new favorite channel. I watched Taxi Driver on it tonight, which was followed by the Pixies Live 2004 reunion show. Did I mention it was in high definition? That’s why I stayed up so late. That and I am anxious, excited and a little terrified of what is to come later today.